Share Girl’s Story Part 1

Amber loved horses because horses didn't care where you came from.

They didn't ask why your father left.

They didn't compare your clothes to everyone else's.

They didn't notice the rust spreading across the trailer parked behind the old stable where she spent every Saturday morning cleaning stalls in exchange for riding lessons.

They simply accepted the hands that fed them.

Amber often wished people were more like horses.

The old stable sat beside a faded trailer with a porch that leaned so badly it looked one thunderstorm away from collapsing. The fence surrounding the pasture had been repaired so many times that no two boards matched. The horses themselves were old, many retired from better farms, but Amber loved them all the same.

She knew each by name.

Otios Suncatcher hated having his ears touched.

Ranger would nudge your pocket if she smelled peppermint.

Tony Smallpine pretended to be stubborn until someone scratched the white star between his eyes.

When Amber was around horses, she never felt poor.

She never felt forgotten.

She certainly never wondered why her father had chosen another little girl to tuck into bed every night instead of her.

From the saddle, the world became simple.

One day she'd become a veterinarian.

Maybe she'd own a little horse farm of her own.

Nothing fancy.

Just enough land for rescued animals that nobody else wanted.

Her mother always smiled whenever Amber talked about it.

"You'll get there," she'd say.

Amber believed her.

Back then.

Home wasn't nearly as peaceful.

Bills covered the kitchen table more often than plates of food.

Her mother worked long hours, picking up extra shifts whenever someone called off. By the time she came home, she looked exhausted before she'd even taken off her shoes.

They still laughed.

Sometimes.

Usually over frozen dinners eaten in front of old movies both of them had seen a dozen times.

Neither talked much about Amber's father.

There wasn't much left to say.

He had a new wife now.

A new house.

New children.

A new life.

Amber wasn't angry.

Not anymore.

Being angry took energy.

Instead, she'd convinced herself of something much quieter.

If she'd been enough...

he would've stayed.

It wasn't something anyone taught her.

It simply grew inside her over the years, watered by birthdays missed, unanswered text messages, and Christmas cards signed with names that no longer felt like family.

By the time she started her junior year of high school, Amber had become very good at making herself small.

Small dreams.

Small expectations.

Small disappointments.

Then Mark smiled at her.

Not the polite smile people gave in passing.

Not the awkward smile reserved for classmates whose names they barely remembered.

He looked directly into her eyes.

Like she was the only person standing in the hallway.

"You're Amber, right?"

She forgot how to breathe.

Nobody ever looked at her like that.

Not even her father.

Mark was everything Amber wasn't.

Captain of the football team.

Confident.

Funny.

Effortlessly handsome.

His family belonged to the country club everyone in town whispered about but few could afford to join.

His truck cost more than the trailer Amber called home.

Yet somehow...

he wanted to talk to her.

When he asked if she'd like to go riding sometime, Amber nearly laughed.

"You ride?"

Mark shrugged.

"My grandparents own a horse farm."

Amber blinked.

"A real one?"

He smiled.

"You'll see."

She spent the rest of the week floating through school.

The farm was beautiful.

White fences stretched across rolling hills.

The barns smelled of fresh cedar instead of mildew.

The horses shone like they’d stepped out of a magazine.

Amber tried not to stare.

Mark noticed anyway.

"You like it?"

"It's..."

She searched for the right word.

"...perfect."

He looked at her instead of the farm.

"You look like you belong here."

Nobody had ever said anything like that to her.

On the drive home he reached across the center console and took her hand.

It felt so natural.

So easy.

Like maybe she'd finally found where she belonged.

She never noticed she spent the entire ride talking about Mark...

and not once about becoming a veterinarian.

That dream would still be waiting tomorrow.

Wouldn't it?

Mark started picking her up every Friday after school.

Their first date was innocent enough.

They rode horses.

Walked through the barns.

Fed carrots to an old mare named Destiny’s Tussle who insisted on licking Amber's entire hand before accepting the treat.

Mark never seemed to mind that Amber talked more to the horses than to him.

He simply leaned against the fence with his hands in his pockets, smiling whenever she laughed.

"I've never seen anybody so happy cleaning horse slobber off their jeans."

Amber laughed.

"It's part of the experience."

"You know..." Mark said, "...I think they're jealous."

"The horses?"

"No."

He stepped closer.

"I think they're jealous because I'm looking at you."

Amber's cheeks burned.

Nobody had ever flirted with her like that.

Not awkwardly.

Not as a joke.

He said things with complete confidence, as though there wasn't another possibility in the world.

When Mark looked at her, Amber forgot every insecurity she'd ever carried.

For the first time in years...

she felt beautiful.

The second Friday he took her somewhere she'd only ever seen through the windows of other people's cars.

The country club.

Amber hesitated before getting out of Mark's truck.

"I don't think I'm dressed for this."

Mark looked her up and down.

She instinctively wrapped her arms around herself.

"What?"

He smiled.

"You make that dress look like a million bucks."

She looked down at the faded blue sundress she'd bought off a clearance rack the summer before.

"It was twenty dollars."

"Then it's the best twenty dollars anybody ever spent."

Again...

that look.

Full eye contact.

Like there wasn't another girl in the world.

Amber melted.

Dinner wasn't anything extraordinary.

Steak.

Mashed potatoes.

Fresh rolls.

But to Amber...

it felt like a royal banquet.

People knew Mark.

Everywhere they went someone waved.

Servers greeted him by name.

Adults asked about football.

Young kids stared as though he were already famous.

And every single time...

Mark introduced her.

"This is Amber."

Not...

"This is a friend."

Not...

"This girl from school."

Amber.

He wanted people to know her name.

By the time they left, she wasn't sure which made her happier.

The meal...

or being seen standing beside him.

The third Friday they went shopping.

Amber protested the entire way.

"I don't need anything."

"I know."

"So why are we here?"

Mark shrugged.

"Because I want to."

He wandered through racks of dresses as though he'd done it a hundred times before.

"This one."

Amber laughed.

"That's way too expensive."

"So?"

"I can't let you spend that much on me."

"Why not?"

She didn't have an answer.

Because nobody ever had.

Because gifts always came with strings.

Because people like Mark didn't buy dresses for girls like her.

He held it against her shoulders.

"Nope."

"What?"

"Wrong color."

He disappeared again.

A few minutes later he returned carrying another.

"This one."

Amber changed in the fitting room.

When she stepped out...

Mark didn't say anything.

He simply stared.

Amber became instantly self-conscious.

"Is it bad?"

He slowly shook his head.

"You..."

He smiled.

"...look like the girl I dreamed about."

Amber's eyes filled before she could stop them.

"What?"

"You okay?"

She laughed through the tears.

"No one's ever looked at me like that."

Mark stepped forward and gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"They were blind."

Amber believed him.

She wanted to believe him.

Monday morning, she arrived at school wearing the dress.

Girls she had never spoken to whispered as she walked by.

Some smiled.

Others rolled their eyes.

The boys noticed too.

One of Mark's teammates whistled when she passed.

"Dang, Mark."

Another elbowed him.

"You've been holding out on us."

Mark grinned.

"What can I say?"

The third laughed.

"You need to learn to share."

Amber laughed with them.

"So I'm something people share now?"

The boys chuckled.

Mark looked at her.

Then back at them.

A grin spread across his face.

"Share Girl."

Everyone laughed harder.

"Share Girl," one of the boys repeated.

"I like it."

Amber laughed too.

"I guess I'm Share Girl."

It felt harmless.

A silly joke.

A nickname born out of laughter and teenage flirting.

When Mark slipped his arm around her shoulders and said,

"My Share Girl,"

Amber's heart skipped.

She didn't notice that, for the first time in weeks...

he hadn't called her Amber.

Neither did anyone else.

Mark never stopped calling her Share Girl after that.

At first, it was only when his friends were around.

"There's my Share Girl."

"Come here, Share Girl."

"What'd you do all day, Share Girl?"

Amber would roll her eyes dramatically, pretending to hate it.

Secretly...

She loved it.

It meant Mark had noticed her.

The nickname became their little joke.

Then it spread.

Within a week, Mark's friends were calling her Share Girl.

Within two, girls she'd never spoken to whispered it as she passed in the hallway.

Some meant it kindly.

Others didn't.

Amber couldn't always tell the difference.

She didn't care.

People knew who she was.

For the first time in her life...

she wasn't invisible.

Her mother noticed the change almost immediately.

"You've been smiling a lot lately."

Amber looked up from her phone.

"What?"

"You."

Her mother smiled.

"You seem happy."

"I am."

"Mark?"

Amber couldn't hide her grin.

"He's wonderful."

"I'm glad."

Her mother reached across the table and squeezed Amber's hand.

"You deserve someone who makes you smile."

Amber squeezed back.

"I know."

It was one of the last easy conversations they had.

The next Saturday morning, Amber didn't go to the stable.

She texted Mrs. Collins and apologized.

Mark wanted to spend the day together.

Mrs. Collins replied almost instantly.

"The horses will miss you."

Amber smiled.

"I'll be back next week."

She meant it.

Next week came.

Mark invited her to a football game.

The week after that...

His family took her to dinner.

The Saturday after...

Shopping.

Another Saturday...

A bonfire with friends.

Then a movie.

Then a weekend at the lake.

Weeks became months.

Without realizing it...

Amber stopped going to the stable.

One afternoon she found her riding boots sitting beside her bedroom door.

A thin layer of dust covered the leather.

She stared at them for a moment.

Then stepped around them.

School changed too.

Amber had always been a good student.

Not exceptional.

Just dependable.

Homework finished.

Projects on time.

Dreams pointed toward veterinary school.

Now...

Assignments could wait.

Mark had texted.

Essays were forgotten because Mark wanted to drive around town.

Chemistry homework sat unfinished while she spent an hour picking out the perfect outfit for Friday night.

When teachers asked where missing work was...

Amber always had tomorrow.

Tomorrow became next week.

Next week became never.

One afternoon she wandered into Biology ten minutes late.

Mrs. Elle Lawson was erasing the whiteboard.

She looked up as Amber slipped quietly into her seat.

"You doing okay?"

Amber blinked.

"I'm fine."

Mrs. Lawson studied her for a second.

"You've missed three assignments."

"I've been busy."

"I know."

There was something gentle in the teacher's voice.

"Gifts can be distracting."

Amber frowned.

"What?"

Mrs. Lawson nodded toward the expensive bracelet around Amber's wrist.

"I don't remember you wearing jewelry before."

Amber instinctively touched it.

"Oh..."

She smiled.

"Mark gave me this."

"I thought he might have."

The classroom emptied after the bell.

Mrs. Lawson stopped Amber before she reached the door.

"Walk with me."

Amber almost said no.

Instead...

she followed.

They walked silently through the nearly empty hallway.

Finally Mrs. Lawson spoke.

"When I was about your age..."

Amber politely smiled.

Here it comes.

"...there was a boy named Harrison."

Amber's smile faded.

Mrs. Lawson didn't look at her.

"I thought he was the answer to every prayer I'd ever prayed."

Amber chuckled softly.

"So you understand."

"I understand more than you think."

"He loved me."

Mrs. Lawson stopped walking.

"So did Harrison."

Amber waited.

Mrs. Lawson's eyes drifted toward one of the school windows, as though looking far beyond the parking lot.

"There are some stories..."

She hesitated.

"...that don't have happy endings."

Amber laughed awkwardly.

"Did he dump you or something?"

Mrs. Lawson smiled.

"No."

Something flickered across her face.

Old pain.

Pain that had never really left.

"He became someone I couldn't follow."

Amber shrugged.

"Mark isn't like that."

Mrs. Lawson looked directly into Amber's eyes.

"I hope you're right."

Amber left shaking her head.

Adults always thought they knew everything.

They didn't know Mark.

They didn't know the way he looked at her.

They didn't know how safe she felt when he held her hand.

Most of all...

they didn't know that Mark loved her.

As she walked across the parking lot, her phone buzzed.

MARK:

What are you doing, Share Girl? Miss you already.

Amber smiled so hard her cheeks hurt.

She didn't realize she never once thought to tell him about Mrs. Lawson.

Somewhere between the classroom and the parking lot...

Mrs. Lawson's warning had simply disappeared.

Just like everything else that didn't come from Mark.

Autumn settled quietly over town.

The trees surrounding the old stable exploded into reds and golds.

Mrs. Collins left two voice mails asking if Amber was coming back.

Amber listened to both.

She never returned the calls.

She meant to.

She really did.

There was simply never a good time.

Mark always had something planned.

Her mother found the information packet for the state university’s pre-veterinary program tucked beneath a pile of laundry.

"What happened to this?"

Amber looked up from her phone.

"What?"

"The veterinary program."

"Oh."

She shrugged.

"I haven't really looked at it."

"You've been talking about that school since middle school."

"I know."

"So?"

Amber's phone vibrated.

She smiled before she even read the message.

"I don't know."

Her mother stared at her.

"You don't know?"

Amber finally looked up.

"I just..."

She shrugged again.

"...things change."

Her mother carefully folded the packet closed.

"Dreams change."

Amber nodded.

"They do."

"No."

Her mother said quietly.

"People change."

That Friday, Mark picked her up wearing a grin she had learned to love.

"I've got a surprise."

"You always have surprises."

"Not like this one."

Instead of driving toward town...

He drove toward the horse farm.

Amber's heart nearly burst.

"You remembered."

"I remember everything."

For a moment...

she felt like the old Amber again.

They spent the afternoon riding beneath orange leaves that drifted lazily through the air.

Amber laughed more that afternoon than she had in weeks.

When they finished, she leaned against the fence watching the horses graze.

"I've missed this."

Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I know."

"I should come back."

"You should."

"I miss them."

"I know."

She smiled.

"I think I needed today."

Mark kissed the top of her head.

"I figured."

Amber never noticed...

He never brought her back.

It was enough to remind her what she'd lost.

Not enough to let her keep it.

The nickname followed her everywhere now.

Teachers took attendance.

"Amber..."

Someone in the back whispered,

"Share Girl."

A few students laughed.

Amber laughed too.

"It counts."

Even the teacher smiled.

She didn't correct anyone.

Why would she?

People finally knew who she was.

One evening, while helping her mother put away groceries, she heard it.

"So..."

Her mother kept placing canned vegetables into the pantry.

"...where are you and Mark thinking about college?"

Amber smiled.

"We've talked about it."

"Oh?"

"Wherever he goes."

The can in her mother's hand stopped halfway to the shelf.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..."

Amber laughed as though the answer were obvious.

"...we'll stay together."

"And what if the school he wants doesn't have veterinary medicine?"

Amber opened the refrigerator.

"I don't know."

"What do you want?"

Amber froze.

The refrigerator door remained open.

Cold air spilled across the kitchen.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want?"

Amber searched for an answer.

Veterinary school.

Horse farm.

Rescuing animals.

Those answers should have come immediately.

Instead...

Nothing.

Just silence.

Finally she said,

"I want to be with Mark."

Her mother slowly closed the refrigerator door.

"No."

She spoke so softly it barely sounded like a word.

"I asked what you wanted."

Amber frowned.

"I just told you."

"No..."

There were tears gathering in her mother's eyes now.

"...you didn't."

That answer haunted Amber all weekend.

Not because she thought her mother was right.

Because...

for the first time...

she couldn't remember the answer.

She lay awake Sunday night staring at the ceiling.

When had she stopped thinking about horses?

When had she stopped studying animal anatomy videos online?

When was the last time she'd even said the word veterinarian?

She couldn't remember.

Her phone buzzed.

MARK:

Miss you, Share Girl.

She smiled.

The questions disappeared.

By Monday morning she had convinced herself her mother simply didn't understand.

Mothers worried.

That was their job.

She had Mark.

She had his friends.

She had a future.

Everything was going to work out.

It had to.

Because if it didn't...

Then she'd have to admit something she wasn't ready to face.

She had traded every dream she had ever loved...

for someone else's.

And she wasn't entirely sure when she'd made the bargain.

The argument began over something stupid.

It usually did.

Amber came home nearly two hours past curfew.

Her mother had fallen asleep on the couch waiting.

The television glowed in the dark living room.

An untouched plate of dinner sat on the coffee table beneath aluminum foil.

Her mother opened her eyes as the front door clicked shut.

"You scared me."

"I'm sorry."

"What time is it?"

Amber glanced toward the microwave in the kitchen.

"I lost track."

"You didn't answer your phone."

"It died."

"You've said that three nights this week."

Amber sighed.

"Can we not do this tonight?"

"When?"

Her mother sat upright, rubbing sleep from tired eyes.

"When would you like to do it?"

Amber dropped her purse beside the door.

"I've got school tomorrow."

“And I have work.”

"I know."

"No..."

Her mother's voice cracked.

"I don't think you do."

Silence settled over the room.

Heavy.

Uncomfortable.

Finally her mother asked,

"When's the last time you rode a horse?"

Amber blinked.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No."

"When's the last time you talked about becoming a veterinarian?"

Amber looked away.

"I don't know."

"When's the last time you did anything that didn't involve Mark?"

"I don't know."

Her mother nodded slowly.

"That's what I was afraid of."

Amber folded her arms.

"You don't like him."

"I barely know him."

"You don't have to know him."

"I'd like to."

"You've already decided."

"No."

Her mother stood.

"I've decided I miss my daughter."

"I'm right here."

"No."

Again...

that quiet word.

"So is your body."

Amber's jaw tightened.

"You're being dramatic."

"I hope I am."

"You are."

Her mother stepped closer.

"When you were little, I couldn't keep you out of that stable."

Amber didn't answer.

"You wanted to save every stray dog in the county."

Silence.

"You wanted to spend your life helping animals."

Silence.

"You used to tell me you wanted your own farm."

Silence.

Her mother's eyes filled.

"I haven't heard you talk about that in months."

Amber finally spoke.

"People grow up."

"No."

Her mother whispered.

"They fall asleep."

Amber grabbed her purse.

"I'm leaving."

"I know."

"You can't stop me."

"I know."

"I'm going to Mark's."

"I know."

Every answer was calm.

Gentle.

Almost defeated.

It only made Amber angrier.

"He loves me."

Her mother closed her eyes.

"I know you think he does."

"He does."

"I hope he proves me wrong."

"He will."

"He'd better."

Amber reached the front door.

Her hand rested on the knob.

Then...

without turning around...

she said the cruelest thing she'd ever spoken.

"You wouldn't understand."

Her mother looked up.

Amber's voice trembled.

"Dad left you."

The words hung in the room.

Amber wished she could pull them back the instant they escaped.

But pride held her still.

Her mother's shoulders sagged.

Not in anger.

In exhaustion.

"So did yours."

Amber slammed the door.

She cried the entire drive.

She wasn't even sure how she'd made it to Mark's house.

She only knew one thing.

Mark would make everything better.

He always did.

His truck was already parked in the driveway.

Music drifted from the backyard.

Laughter.

She wiped her face before stepping through the gate.

The boys were gathered around the fire pit.

Scott noticed her first.

"Hey..."

His smile faded.

"You okay?"

Before Amber could answer...

Mark stood.

He walked straight toward her.

No hesitation.

No questions.

He simply wrapped his arms around her.

Amber collapsed against his chest.

Everything she'd been holding back came pouring out.

"I don't know what's wrong with her."

Mark gently rubbed circles across her back.

"It's okay."

"She doesn't understand."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know."

"I don't want to lose you."

"You won't."

She looked up at him through swollen eyes.

"You promise?"

Mark smiled.

The same smile that had first stolen her heart beside a white fence and a beautiful horse.

"I promise."

Behind Amber...

Mark met Scott's eyes.

Just for a second.

Nothing was said.

Scott looked toward the others.

One by one...

they understood.

No nod.

No discussion.

Just quiet agreement.

Amber didn't see any of it.

She buried her face against Mark's chest again.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

Mark rested his chin gently on top of her head.

"You'll never have to find out."

He looked over her shoulder once more.

No one was laughing anymore.

The game...

was over.

Mark pulled back just enough to wipe the tears from Amber's cheeks with his thumb.

"There she is."

Amber managed a weak smile.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I've been a mess."

"So?"

"I just..."

She laughed nervously.

"...I started thinking about after graduation."

Mark smiled.

"That's all?"

"I know it sounds stupid."

"It doesn't."

She took a shaky breath.

"I was thinking..."

"Yeah?"

"...where are we going to live?"

Mark didn't answer immediately.

Amber mistook the pause for thoughtfulness.

She smiled.

"I don't care where."

"As long as we're together?"

She nodded.

"And maybe..."

She laughed softly.

"...maybe someday we'll have horses."

Mark chuckled.

"Horses?"

"You know..."

She looked down.

"...like that farm your grandparents have."

"I remember."

"I know it'll take years."

"I know."

"But..."

She looked back into his eyes.

"...you'll still love me then, right?"

Mark didn't hesitate.

"Of course I will."

Amber melted.

"I love you."

"I know."

"And your friends..."

She looked around the fire.

"...they're my family too."

Scott forced a smile.

"You know it."

Charlie raised his cup.

"Always, Share Girl."

The others echoed him.

"Always."

Amber laughed through fresh tears.

"I knew Mom was wrong."

Mark stood.

"Come on."

"Where?"

"I've got something planned."

Amber smiled.

"You always do."

He held out his hand.

She took it without thinking.

The boys piled into the trucks.

Someone turned the music up.

The mood slowly became lighter.

Scott started telling stories from football practice.

Charlie teased him.

Everyone laughed.

Amber laughed too.

It felt...

Normal.

Safe.

Like she'd imagined things.

Maybe her mother had overreacted.

Maybe Mrs. Lawson had been wrong.

Maybe everyone who warned her simply didn't understand.

She leaned against Mark's shoulder as he drove.

"I don't deserve you."

Mark glanced at her.

"I know."

She smiled.

"I mean it."

"I know."

"You saved me."

Mark didn't answer.

His eyes stayed on the road.

They stopped at a convenience store.

Charlie came back carrying bags full of chips, candy and soft drinks.

Scott carried ice.

Quinten climbed into the bed of the truck with a cooler.

"What's all this?"

Mark grinned.

"Celebration."

"For what?"

He looked at her.

"For us."

Amber's heart fluttered.

"For us?"

"You've been worrying too much."

He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Tonight's about forgetting all that."

They drove farther than she'd ever gone with them before.

The houses disappeared.

Streetlights gave way to darkness.

The road narrowed.

Trees crowded both sides.

Amber looked out the window.

"Where are we?"

"You'll see."

She smiled.

"I trust you."

"I know."

The fire was already waiting.

Someone must have been there earlier.

Scott tossed another log onto the flames.

Charlie unfolded camping chairs.

Mike set a speaker on the hood of the truck.

Music drifted into the trees.

Amber looked around.

"It's beautiful."

Mark walked behind her and slipped both hands around her waist.

"I figured you'd like it."

She leaned back against him.

"I do."

More than you'll ever know.

Scott handed everyone a drink.

Amber reached for hers.

Mark stopped her.

"Wait."

She laughed.

"What?"

He picked up his own cup.

"So impatient."

The others followed his lead.

Five cups lifted into the air.

Mark looked at Amber.

Not Share Girl.

Amber.

"For the girl who made this the best year of our lives."

The others raised their cups.

"To Amber."

Amber's breath caught.

Amber.

He'd called her Amber.

Not Share Girl.

Amber.

For just a second, every warning she'd ever ignored seemed worth it.

Mrs. Lawson.

Her mother.

The horses.

The dreams she'd abandoned.

They all disappeared beneath one impossible thought.

He still knows who I am.

Tears filled her eyes again.

Mark stepped forward and handed her the last cup.

"This one's yours."

She accepted it with trembling hands.

"I love you."

"I know."

She drank.

Greedily.

Because she wanted to stay Amber.

Just a little longer.